In fact, here it is: I’m at the “Peace Arch” Border Crossing, separating Washington State and British Columbia.
Unfortunately, the Border Agents pulled my dad over and are questioning him in a separate room. So embarrassing.
And since I’m not allowed to accompany him, I’m responding to some fan mail to pass the time.
Here’s one from my former bro, Pedro, who is sharing some family news!
“Dear Finn,Welcome back to the left coast. The politics here are quite “interesting,” but the mountains and the ocean are the best anywhere. I am looking forward to getting together for some great walks. We can sniff some butts at Spanish Banks, or chase birds at Cleveland dam. I will show you the hotspots with my little adoptive brother, Henry. Don’t let his looks fool you, we call him “The Stink” for a reason. He’s ok though”
See you soon. Pedro
And this just in from Henry!
I understand that Pedro already welcomed you back. Don’t worry, I don’t smell THAT bad, especially since I stopped chasing skunks. Looking forward to hanging out. Maybe we can go to the beach at Whistler. I don’t really swim, but I like the walks there. PS. Don’t give Pedro too many snacks. He is sneaky.”
See you soon, Henry “The Stink”
Clean yourself up, Henry, and then come hang with Pedro and I once I’m settled in Vancouver!
Before leaving Sunny California I checked my email and came across this interesting proposition from a fan named Reilly. How nice! As in, Ted Lasso nice.
I haven’t met Reilly, but his profile pic screams confidence and he clearly takes good care of his fur. I also respect that he warned me of dangers ahead, yet tempted me with food and companionship. Bravo, Reilly. Well done.
It’s such a refreshing change from the mountain of marriage proposals, time-share pitches, and Nigerian princes asking for banking help. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, my dudes: Be careful out there.
Reilly, I hope we hang out at a dog park one day and wag tails together.! You seem cool and I’m flattered that you’re planning a parade when I cross the border!
“Finnegan, Be careful, you’re going north and I have to say, its getting cooler. Also, there are raccoons in Oregon. Lots of ‘em. Oh, wow. When I think of it, BEARS too. If you want to quit and come join me on my little pillow here in Ontario, I’ll make room. We have greenies. Not sure if they are vegan. I am enjoying reading about your journey though. What an adventure. Is Ian an OK traveller or does he make you check out how many people are in every spot you go, and make sure you know where the bathrooms and exits are? Hope he’s not being too demanding. Its worth it though right? I know when you make that entrance to Canada there will be cheers and maybe a parade.”
A few hours north of the People’s Republic of San Francisco, I made a quick stop to Mendocino because I totally forgot this is where I buried my Emmy for my award-winning cameos on the hit TV show “Alf” back in the 80’s!
So, of course I had to check if it was still around:
Back then, I was a stand-in for Alf in several episodes! The studio audience couldn’t tell the difference, and the producers loved me!
Sadly, I think my Emmy is lost at sea – I can’t find it anywhere.
If you see a shiny Emmy floating around, let me know. It would be nice to get it back.
My dudes, I’ve been so inspired by the glitzy showbiz vibe all across this State, I’m seriously considering becoming a social media influencer! Here’s my debut look that will hopefully bring in Kardashian-level fame and fortune!
But first, I’m wondering if I need to make an important life decision: Let me know what you think:
Truth be told, I could go either way. It can be a bit annoying after I go for a swim.
Everyone is so nice and trusting here. In fact, a skipper wearing a bright blue shirt asked me to guard his spare nautical wheel until he returns from a 3 hour tour with some friends. He even introduced me to them: A clumsy guy in a red shirt, a millionaire, his wife, a movie star, a professor and a pleasant young woman who looks like she lives on a farm.
UPDATE: It’s been well over 3 hours and the tour still hasn’t returned. I’m not sure if I should be worried, but my sense is the crew is quite resourceful and will be ok.